Along Came A Sister
by writingdreamer13
Summary: Ed and Al find out they have a little sister O.C.Is she just a little prankster that crawled out of hell or a lethal weapon capable of ending civilization as we know it? R&R please: Rated T for *cough* brief langage, animals with dynamite, and ars kicking
1. Bad First Impressions

**Disclaimer:**

writingdreamer13: Hello everyone this is my first fanfic and it's in FMA (as if you didn't know). I'm so happy I--

a little girl blue: Oh shut-up you pompous brat. Nobody cares. Not even your computer.

writingdreamer13: What the hell are you doing?! Don't you belong over at the Naruto fanfics?

a little girl blue: I can be where ever the hell I want be bama. BTW, I have 2 stories up. Oh yeah! Ignore this prick. She's a real--

wd13: Shut your trap! And stop advertising on my fanfic!

Ed: Shut the hell up both of you!

Al: Brother! How did we get here?!

A.L.G.B: 1. You shut the fuk up Ed. 2. God made my hands to type and I will. 3. I ain't even talkin' you bastard! 4. I ain't advertising. I'm just telling' the public about me. 5. You two (Ed and wd13) shut up infinity. 6. Hello Al. 7. Ed you're short.

Ed: -turns his right arm into a sword- Your going to pay for that.

A.L.G.B: Your not the only one who can get a uber big sword instantly brat (magically get a **really **big sword that looks suspiciously like Zabaza from Naruto sword) . Al, you're a good kid. Sorry I'm about to kill your brother. -turns to Ed- Hey shortie! Come and get some!

Al: (Ed and A.L.G.B are sword fighting)Brother! (looks at wd13 for support) Why are you just standing there?

wd13: To hell I'm going near _that! _

Al: Fine. You finish this up and I'll go save humanity. (goes into the battlefield)

wd13: Rather him than me. Oh… I do not own FMA. If I did what you will read below would be in the series.

* * *

Chapter One: Bad First Impressions

"Brother!" Al yelled as his metal body ran into their room knocking the door knob clean off the door flying full speed right into Ed's face.

(Ed was apparently reading a book that might help with the search of the Philosopher's Stone)

"WHAT THE HELL!" Ed yelled getting off the floor. The impact had knocked him three feet away from his chair (A/N: Damn.), "What ever you're going to say better be important. That armor body won't save you when I get my hands on you."

"Well…it is important…I guess." Al said as he slowly backed away for a quick get away.

"YOU _GUESS_!" Ed bellowed chasing Al down the hallway, "I just got my face knocked in by a door knob dammit!"

"Brother wait!" Al screamed as he tried to stay out of his brother's reach, "It's something you need to know!"

"Tell me then!" Ed yelled as he continued to chase Al back and forth through the halls.

"I'll tell you if you stop _chasing me_!" Al yelled back.

"I'll stop chasing you if you stop running!"

"After you stop chasing!"

"After you stop running!"

"Stop chasing!"

"Stop running!"

"Stop chasing!"

"Stop running!"

( A/N: This continued for about two hours and a half.)

* * *

"What…did you… want to tell me?" Ed asked Al out of breath as they both sat on the steps outside of the main building in H.Q.

"Oh yeah… there's another kid coming to Central H.Q." Al said happily, "Finally! We won't be the only kids here!"

"Are you sure?" Ed asked in disbelief.

"Of course I'm sure, Brother." Al said, "I heard Colonel Mustang complaining about it on the phone. A ten-year-old girl named Tallieanne. (Pronounced ; Tally-an) The only reason three reasons he was taking her in was 1. Because the Fuher said so. 2. One of his old best friend's adopted her a few years ago ,and died when she was nine. 3. His friend's ghost will haunt him for the rest of his life if he don't.

"Well…when does she come?"

"Five minutes ago." Al answered.

Al thought about it for a moment. Sweatdrop.

"Wait a second…FIVE MINUTES AGO!" Al exclaimed as he grabbed Ed's arm and bolted toward the main entrance of H.Q., "Hurry Brother! We're late!"

"My feet isn't even touching the fuckin' ground!" Ed called.

* * *

At the main entrance Colonel Mustang, Riza Hawkeye, Maes Hughes, Jean Havoc, Kain Furey, Falman, Breda, and Armstronge were there. (A/N: Strange…)

"My apologies for being late Colonel Mustang." Said a woman with dark blue hair in a bun in a suit skirt thingy (A/N: What? You know what I'm talking about.). This was Tallieanne's manager (AKA, Ms.Jarmal) in Orphanage Estates. "Tallieanne here wouldn't get into the car."

"Is it that hard to put a child into a car?" Mustang asked, "Why don't you just turn them into charcoal?"

"Child Protective Services gives up any chance to kill that girl. I can't count how many times I wanted to strangle her."

"That horrible, huh?" Havoc said with an unlit cigarette in his mouth.

"Why the hell are you all here anyway?" Mustang asked annoyed with his left eye twitching.

"To watch the show, of course." Havoc smirked, " You don't even like children. Plus we don't have nothing but work to do."

"You all make it look as if the child is a monster." Hughes said as he pulled out a picture of Elysia and showed it to Ms.Jarmal, "See? She's probably just as sweet as my sweet darling-"

"To get on with the reason why I'm wasting my time out here." Mustang said as he rudely threw Hughes out of the way, "Where is the little trouble maker?"

"Have you met her already?" Ms.Jarmal asked suspiously.

"Once."

"Oh yeah!" Hughes jumped in, "I remember that day! She sat you on-"

With a snap of his fingers Mustang set Hughes left shoe on fire.

"Damnit! These are new shoes!" Hughes ran away to go put out the fire.

"That was close." Mustang muttered just before he noticed stares and sweatdrops, "Um…that's a normal thing we do. Where's the kid?" Mustang quickly changed the subject.

"Tallieanne!" Ms.Jarmal called as she went to open the car door, "Com'on! We haven't got all day."

"Fine." Tallieanne said reluctant to leave the car.

Tallieanne slowly got out of the car. Everyone gasped as they saw the girl (except Mustang and Ms.Jarmal) . The girl had long golden hair and golden eyes. She was also wearing an oversized yellow t-shirt and baggy pink short's. But that wasn't what made everyone gasped.

"She looks just like-" Havoc started to say.

"I made it!" Ed said in triumphed after he pushed his way through the small crowd. Then turned his focus on Mustang and the others (not noticing that Tallieanne was right behind him, "So you all just like to keep secrets to yourselves, don'tcha?"

"Brother…" Al said as he stood there like the others looking at how much the two looked alike, "You should look behind-"

"Wait a sec, Al. I'm about to make a speech." Ed said, "As I was saying… you should tell me when something is going on. I know that I'm 16, but-"

"Your 16!" Tallieanne exclaimed, "Damn! What the hell happened to you?! At the rate your growing I'll be taller than you in a few weeks!"

"WHOAREYOUCALLINGSOSMALLTHATHECANTAKEARIDEONA SPECKOFDUST!!" Ed yelled as Al held him back, "I'm taller than you!"

"Just barely." She said as she poked her tongue out at him.

"Don't get on my bad side!" Ed yelled angrily.

"Oh I'm _soooo_ scared." She said sarcastically, "We could kick your butt any day."

"You and what army?!" Ed yelled as he wiggled out of Al's grip and grabbed Tallieanne by the arm with his left hand (that's the real one).

Tallieanne smiled and whistled at a high pitch tone. All of a sudden a large wolf with a baby blue bandana around his neck jumped out of the car. And tackled Ed to the ground. From Ed's point of view he saw not just the wolf, but a furry brown hamster holding a stick of dynamite, and a yellow and green parrot holding a match was both on the wolf's back.

"That army." Tallieanne said standing over Ed opposite of the wolf, hamster, and parrot. She was smiling an _'I gotcha good' _smile.

* * *

wd13: Talkin' about bad first impressions with Ed… (looks toward A.L.G.B. still sword fighting with Ed)

Al: (sweat dropped) Do you think that they'll ever stop?

wd13: They have to get tired sooner or later, right?

(Ed and A.L.G.B take a break) Ed: (breathing heavily) You're pretty… good.

A.L.G.B.: Thanks. I know I'm pretty. I know I'm good. You still suck a and your still short.

(Ed glares at her. The two get a sudden burst of energy and start fighting again)

wd13: That's it! I'm calling back up!

Al: Who could save us?

wd13: Don't worry…I got people. ( Runs out the door. Come back a little while later with a wriggling lumpy sack. Opens sack and dumps Tallieanne out.)

Tallieanne: WTF!

wd13: We need you to do what you were born to do. (Points to Ed and A.L.G.B.)

Tallieanne: Torture Edward?

wd13: Join the fight and end it.

Tallieanne: (Gets a rocket launcher from nowhere.) You may want to stand back.

Al and wd13: (Run out the room)

Ed and A.L.G.B.: (Stop fighting)

Tallieanne: Wanna help me beat up Edward?

A.L.G.B.: Sure, why not? (Suddenly get two big guns)

Al and wd13: (Cringe in terror as they hear shooting, explosives, and Ed yelling.)

Ed: WTF!

Tallieanne: (uses deep voice) Hasta la vista Shorty!

A.L.G.B.: LET'S BLOW HIM UP!

Tallieanne: Get me some rope!

A.L.G.B.: (Ties up Ed) Let's do this!

Tallieanne and A.L.G.B.: (Runs out of room and Tallieanne throws in a lit stick of dynamite)

Tallieanne: FIRE IN THE ASSHOLE!

Tallieanne, A.L.G.B., wd13, Al: ( Ducks for cover)

Ed: (Limps out the blown up room) R and R please. (faints)

Everybody else: Damn.

(A/N: Next chapter 2 "Pranks from Hell" will be up next week. Btw when you review I'll always reply.)


	2. Pranks from Hell

_**Disclaimer:**_

_Ed: ( banging on locked door to computer room) Open up this fucking door right now!_

_wd13: ( typing furiously on computer)_

_Al: How did we get here again?_

_Ed: I don't know, but I do know that slow psychopath is in there writing terrible things about our life._

_Al: So._

_Ed: ( shudders) She's a member to ffn._

_Al: (shudders) What makes you think that she's writing __bad _things?

Ed: She ran in there cackling. 

Al: (cries anime tears) What do you think she's gonna do to us?! What is she gonna do to me?!

wd13: (creak open door and pokes head out) Don't worry Al. I like you , so you shall not suffer. (glances at Ed) 

Ed: …what? 

wd13: (cackles and slams door)

Ed: Aw shit.

Al: On the bright side A.L.G.B isn't here.

A.L.G.B : (runs up and stabs Ed) BWHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!(runs away)

Al: D-Did I do that? (holds fist to the ceiling) CURSE YOU JINX FARIY!! 

Ed: (miraculously heals)

wd13: (yells from locked room) You can't die…that's too easy!

Ed: ….what….why? (tears up)

Al: Um…wd13 does not own us…wait a sec…what the fu-

Chapter 2: Pranks from Hell

"If you admit that you're short, they just _might _let you go." Tallieanne said grinning proudly for catching a state alchemist.

"Over my dead body!" Ed declared as he was about to clap his hands together.

Tallieanne immediately kicked Ed in the head.

"Left arm now!" Tallieanne instructed the wolf.

The wolf quickly bit down into Ed's good arm. Hard.

"ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!" Ed screamed in pain.

"Brother!" Al yelled as he tried to remove the wolf from his brother's arm. The wolf bit down harder.

" SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!" Ed screamed in more agony.

"Tell your canine to let Edward go." Lt. Hawkeye said calmly as she pulled out here gun.

"Whatcha gonna do, shoot me?" Tallieanne said boldly. "As a military officer you should know not to shoot an unarmed child. Didn't that start a war with Ishbal?"

Tallieanne smiled feeling invincible.

"I might not be able to shoot you, but your canine on the other hand…"Lt. Hawkeye aimed for the wolf.

Tallieanne smile faded. Weak spot targeted. Tallieanne sighed as she faced the wolf.

"Hero, you should let go of him now." She said.

Hero whined as he let go of Ed. Al had put Hero down after knowing for sure he wouldn't maul his brother. Hero went to sit down beside Tallieanne.

"I know. I wanted you to chew his arm off too." Tallieanne said as she patted the wolf's head. She focused her attention on the hamster.

"Rascal, were you playing with _my _dynamite again?" Tallieanne asked the hamster.

"Squeak squeak (Translation: You play with them too.)." Went the hamster.

Rascal the hamster reluctantly gave back the dynamite.

"Sunny, what did you do with my bag?" Tallieanne asked the parrot.

"Why do you always gotta blame it on me?" Sunny said as it flew to the car's closed trunk, "You put beside our suit case."

"Why would a bird, hamster, and a wolf need a suit case?" Tallieanne asked as she opened the trunk taking out a pink over the shoulder bag. Then struggled with a brown heavy suit case.

Tripping on her own two feet Tallieanne sending the suit case fling in the air. The suit case opened in midair sending a mountain of sunflower seeds and chicken bones pouring down on the ten-year-old.

"Is all of this necessary?" Tallieanne's muffled voice called out from under the debris. She managed to poke her head out to await their answer.

All three animals nodded their head yes. Tallieanne groaned and hit her forehead with the palm of her hand.

"Ow."

"I don't want to waste anymore time so I'll be going now." Ms. Jamal said as she got into her car. She turned her attention to the struggling Tallieanne with a cold death glare. "If you get kicked out of the military…you're going to have a painful time at the orphanage. I mean it." With a cheerful voice she turned to Mustang. "She's your problem now!"

She drove off with the tires screeching at the pavement. Everyone sweat dropped.

"Talk about harsh." Tallieanne said to her pets who nodded in agreement, Hero helped pull Tallieanne out of the rubble. "So, who's the unlucky bastard responsibly for me?"

"That would be me, however I am **not **a bastard." Mustang said with a small vein pulsing on his head.

"Uh-oh." Tallieanne said as she took a few steps back. "You're telling me that the Flame Alchemist is my new guardian."

Tallieanne and Rascal exchanged glances and burst into a fit of laughter.

"F-F-Flame Alchemist!" Tallieanne managed to choke out while rolling on the floor, " That was so funny the time I set you on fire! Y-Y-You ran down the street in your boxers!"

"That was four years ago!" Mustang bellowed wanting ever so much to blow up the child, "If you knew what was good for you, you'd be trying to get on my good side."

"No thanks." Tallieanne said with a smirk, "I'll do just the opposite."

Mustang looked as if head might explode. You could clearly see the many large veins throbbing on his head. Then he calmed as he looked down at Tallieanne.

"You know…" Mustang said in his cool smug voice, "I could have sworn that I was being sent a ten-year-old. Based on your height I'd say you were seven or six in a half."

"SAYTHATAGAIN YOUDUMBFATHERFUCKERBITHCHASSFREAK!!" Tallieanne yelled as Hero held her back and Sunny and Rascal cheered her on.

"Whoa." Havoc said with his cigarette falling out of his mouth as everyone stood there dumbfounded with their mouths hanging open.

"That's another thing you and Ed have in common." Mustang said flatly, "C'mon itsy bitsy, I'll show you your room."

"Fatherfucker." She mumbled under her breath.

She quickly shoved everything back into the pets suit case and struggled to follow Mustang.

"Um…Tallieanne… I could carry that suit case for you." Al offered timidly expecting the girl to attack him.

"What are you going to do with it." Tallieanne asked suspiciously.

"Nothing!" Al said waving his hands in defense.

Tallieanne stared at him for seven awkward moments. Then approving him she gave him the suit case.

"By the way…" Tallieanne smiled sweetly, "Call me Tallie."

"O.K. I'm Al and this is my big brother Ed Elric." Al said gesturing to Ed who was sulking behind and had magically healed from his bit wound. "Tallie…this is an odd question… but why do have a wolf?"

"Hero, is my real guardian." Tallie explained, "He makes a good parent."

"What?"

"I don't remember my birth parents so… Hero, Rascal, and Sunny is the only family I have now."

"Oh…(sweat drop) If it makes you feel any better…Ed is technically the only family I have left."

"Thanks, but I feel a bit more sorry for you. It must be hard having a little elf for a brother."

Ed sensed that he had been insulted and was ready to attack. Of course Al grabbed him.

"Al, if you don't want your brother to loose another limb," Tallie said, " You'd hold to him for a while."

"How the hell did you know I was missing two limbs?!" Ed asked as he stopped his valiant struggle to reach the child.

"She probably know you're the Fullmetal Alchemist." Al suggested.

"Who's that ?" Tallie asked then jumped back to the subject of Ed's question. "Oh yeah, I didn't want Hero to bite your automail. That wouldn't cause you pain and now that Gun Lady isn't here (Hawkeye, Havoc, Armstrong, and the others were all still standing there dumbfounded upon Mustang getting the Cuss Out) there's no one here to save your ass."

Ten moments of hatred glaring between Ed and Tallie (Al, Rascal, Hero, Sunny, and Mustang sweat dropped.)

"If you two are done then there's your new room." Mustang said to Tallie.

(A/N: Btw , did I forget to mention that they had to walk in the building, walk down the hall, then another hall, and another one, up some stairs, down another hall to where Tallie's room was? Heh heh.)

"No way!" Ed yelled, "That little brat **can not **have a dorm across from mine!"

"Why is the lock on the outside of my door?" Tallie asked as she examined the bolt latch attached to the outside of her door.

"Um…well you see…" Mustang said as he tried to come up with an acceptable lie, "Um…for your… protection?"

"YOU FATHERFUCKING LIAR!" She shouted obviously seeing through Mustang lie, "YOU WANTED TO LOCK ME IN THERE ONLY BECAUSE I SET YOUR ASS ON FIRE WHEN I WAS SIX! _YOU ASSHOLE!_"

"Really? Go to your room then." Mustang said calmed as if he wasn't just cussed out by a ten-year-old child.

"GO FUCK YOUR FATHER YOU-" Tallie shouted just as Al covered her mouth so she couldn't yell anything else.

"For a ten-year-old your language is just as bad as Brother's." Al sighed holding Tallie's mouth covered so she wouldn't continue with her "cuss out" .

Al held Tallie until the throbbing vein on her head was no longer visible.

"I refuse to have a dorm near _that _." Ed said as he pointed to the semi rabid Tallie.

"Well then you'll just have to _share_ one then." Mustang said smugly as he ran off full speed, "By the way that's an order!" He called over his shoulder.

Ed and Tallie both had a throbbing vein on their head.

"YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!" Ed and Tallie shouted in union as they ran after Mustang, "I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS SO IT'LL GO ALL AROUND THE FUCKING WORLD!"

"Brother! Tallie!" Al called as he ran after them, "Why does something tell me things like this is going to happen a lot."

_That very awkward night…_

"Well… I feel uncomfortable." Tallie said as she lay in Al's bed wearing her pink pj's.

Al had gave up his bed willingly and was sitting in a corner near the door. Hero was lying down on the foot of Tallie's new bed. At the moment he was glaring at Ed intently. While Rascal and Sunny lay in Hero's cozy gray fur. Ed's bed was a few feet across from Tallie's. He was feeling just as uncomfortable as the ten-year-old. (He was wearing as usall boxers and T-shirt to bed.)

"I can't believe Colonel Bastard made us share a room with a weird little girl we just met" Ed said to Al.

"I'm right here, Shortmetal Alchemist." Tallie said staring up at the ceiling.

"Say that again you-" Ed started to say but noticed Hero growling at him, "Damn! Can this get any worse?"

"It will. Believe me it will." Tallie whispered to herself as she drifted off to sleep dreaming ways that would get her kicked out sooner or later.

_The next day…_

Ed woke up on a beautiful morning. The sun through the open window. Tallie and her pets were nowhere to be seen.

Suddenly he realized what had wakened him up. He threw back the covers to reveal the worms and snakes that was wriggling and squirming in his bed.

"TALLIEANNE!!" Ed roared in a deep voice leaping out of his bed.

Even in his room Ed could hear the faint sound of laughter from a ten-year-old girl on the other side of Central HQ.

_Three hours later…_

'_Damn that girl.' _Ed thought to himself, _'Trouble making daughter of a bitch. It took forever to get those worms and snakes out of my bed! So many damn snake bites!'_

Ed turned a corner while walking down one of the many halls at Central HQ. Just what a certain Tallie had planed. He had walked right into a trap.

A bucket full of something sticky poured all over Ed. Covering him head to toe. Surprised he had taken a step back. Dirty state alchemist underwear, boxers, and stinky gym socks fell from above sticking to Ed.

"Damnit!" Ed yelled in rage, "I think there's some shit on these!"

Ed ran to the nearest bathroom. He went to the sink to try to wash off some off the sticky stuff (A/N: That's honey btw.) . Just as he turned the knob to the faucet he noticed there was a thin thread tied to it.

'_Damn.' _Ed thought as his gaze followed the thread to see hornets and killer bees being released from a giant jar. Ed was still covered in honey, shitty boxer, shitty under wear, and gym socks head to toe.

Ed ran out of the bathroom swearing up a storm as other officers near by pointed and laughed. Ed continued running for his life when he noticed a hand low to the ground grab his ankle. Causing him to fall face first to the floor.

"You!" Ed growled as he saw Tallie smiling down at him. She took a picture with Hughes camera.

"MUHAHAHAHAAAA!!" Tallie laughed as she ran for her life.

Immediately Ed ran after her with murder intent in his eyes. Without Al here to hold him back he could personally beat her into a pulp. (A/N: Al was somewhere playing with kittens.) Unfortunately for Ed he had under estimated Tallie's speed.

Ed was running full speed, but the closer he got the farther she seemed to get. Until she was out of sight.

"Damnit Tallieanne!" Ed cursed as he stopped out of breath with no hope of catching the ten-year-old.

Unfortunately Ed had stopped in the worst place in Central HQ. In front of Mustang's office with the door wide open. Mustang, Havoc, Fuery, Breda, Falman, and Hawkeye all stared at the shitty boxers/underwear and gym socks covered teen.

Awkward silence.

Every guy in the room burst into laughter. The rolling on the floor loosing precious organs laughter. While Hawkeye promptly left the area.

'_Kill. I will kill Tallieanne.' _Ed though with his left eye twitching.

Ed didn't notice Armstronge walk up behind him.

"Why Edward, those boxers attached to you have been passed down the Armstrong line for generations." Armstronge said proudly as he flexed his muscles flashing his sparkles show.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!! ZOMFG!!" Ed screamed as he ran in complete and total fear.

End of Chapter 2: Pranks from Hell

wd13: (smiles)

Ed: ……….I hate you………..

wd13: I was expecting that. Don't worry though. You have too many fan girls for you not to have revenge. Next chapter will be up next week. Chapter 3: R for Revenge.

Tallie: Damn.

Ed: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!

Al: (holding many, many kittens) And something else that starts with R is Review.

wd13: So please review so I'll reply and update.

Al: Everyone wins. (Looks to wd13) Okay, I did what you said. Can I keep the kittins?

wd13: Shhhhh! You can't let everyone know that I blackmailed you.

A.L.G.B: Idiot you just said it.

wd13: O.o Well that's all for now! Seeya next chapter.


	3. R for Revenge

**Disclaimer: **

wd13: I'm baaaaaack.

Ed: Well, you took your sweet precious time.

wd13: Not my fault school started. Do you know how hard it is being a freshman? I have to-

A.L.G.B: Nobody wants to hear you bitch about just starting high school. We don't give a damn.

wd13: Why are you still here?! And how did you get into my house?!

A.L.G.B: You left your window unlocked.

wd13: My window's on the second floor!

A.L.G.B: Your point?

wd13: … I'm gonna buy padlocks tonight. –gives Al a box with holes in it-

Al: -opens box- Kittens!

wd13: You know what you have to do.

Al: Right, wd13 doesn't own FMA in any form or way. She kidnapped us. The only thing she owns is the plot, Tallie, Billy, the wench, Rascal, Hero, Sunny and … wait … is this correct?

–holds out a piece of to wd13-

wd13: Just read the script.

Al: Okay… and she owns… green balls.

Ed: Are you high?

wd13: Only on pixie sticks. –takes five and eats the sugar- WHOOO!!

A.L.G.B: -snatches it away- Gimme that!

Ed: I'll still get my revenge with Tallie, right?

wd13: Yup. –hijacks a truck delivering pixie sticks- MUHAHAHAHA! –drives away-

A.L.G.B: All of humanity is screwed.

* * *

Chapter 3: R for Revenge

After running around in fear and dodging hornets and bees Ed searched around the city. He was looking for a certain golden blonde child that abruptly entered his life through uncontrolled circumstances.

It was at that very moment that he noticed some of the features that Tallie and he shared. Each had golden eyes, golden blonde hair, and was often called "short". Ed quickly shook off the thought.

'_There's no way I could be related to _that._' _Ed thought, _'It's impossible!'_

Ed suddenly got the feeling that he was being watched. He turned around to see that everyone on the busy street had stopped to stare at him.

'_What the hell are they staring at?' _Ed thought giving the people a look.

"Brother!" Al called from behind Ed, "Are you … feeling well?"

Ed turned around to face Al.

"Yeah, but everyone is staring me. I must be too awesome for them." Ed replied.

Al stared down at his big brother. He held back as much laughter as possible, but failed miserably. Al laughed so hard his head almost fell off.

"What's so funny?" Ed said irritated.

"T-There's crappy u-u-underwear on your head!" Al choked out in a fit of laughter.

Ed stood there glaring daggers, with a vein throbbing on his head and left eye twitching.

* * *

_Fifteen minutes later…_

Al finally saw his Brother's infuriated glare and stopped knowing that Ed would somehow find a way to him bodily harm.

"E-hem… what happened to you?" Al asked trying not to laugh at his honey/shity boxers covered brother.

"This!" Ed with his arms open wide gestured to Armstrong's shit stained boxers and shuddered inwardly, "THAT SEED OF SATAN DID THIS TO ME! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK **ELSE **HAPPENED!"

Childish laughing can be heard.

"Alphonse!!"

"It wasn't me brother, honest!" Al exclaimed waving his hands in defense.

Al stepped to the side to reveal a giggling golden haired ten-year-old.

"You. Are. Dead." Ed growled slowly with his face down in an anime shadow.

Ed let out some kind of battle cry as he lounged for Tallie. She easily dodged him. Took a picture and ran away cackling. Before Ed could even stand up straight Tallie was out of sight.

"I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS TALLIEANNE!! YOU CAN'T RUN FOREVER!!" Ed called after her at the top of his lungs.

Ed looked up. An evil smirk crossed his lips as he saw Sunny flying over head.

* * *

_An hour later at Central H.Q…_

Hughes had got off the phone with Mustang swearing to burn his ear through the phone. He was about to leave the grand telephone room when he noticed Tallie on the phone. Of course he couldn't help but eavesdrop on a ten-year-old conversation.

"Why are you so panicky, Billy? I'm only gain world domination during my stay at H.Q." Tallie said calmly to the person on the other line.

"The way you plan it frightens me." Billy said on the other line.

"It's a rather simply plan if you ask me. All I have to do is take over H.Q. Kidnap the Fuher and control all of Ametris." Tallie stated simply, "Before I do all of that I'll just have some fun with the Fullofshortness Alchemist."

"You?"

" WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT SHE HAS TO USE A LADDER TO LOOK OVER NEWLY CUT GRASS?!"

"You and Edward really are alike." Hughes said from behind Tallie.

"Who the hell are you?" She asked rudely

"Are you being kidnapped again?" Billy's childish voice asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry. The last we meet you were only six. That time you set Mustang on fire." Hughes said with a chuckled.

"Oh yeah, I remember you now. You were laughing so hard that you pissed on yourself. Then you were kicked out of the house." Tallie smiled at the memory.

"Have anyone ever told you that you and Edward could probably be related?"

"Yeah, but there're crying in a corner at the moment."

Hughes and the phone sweat dropped. (A/N: No idea how the phone managed to sweat drop)

"What if someone had proof?" Hughes asked thoughtfully.

"Then Edward will suffer and soon go mad."

"…I'm gonna hang now…" Billy said through the phone.

"Sure thing. See ya later my best human friend."

Billy hung up the phone officially freaked out as Tallie started laughing menacingly.

Hughes thought for a moment. Then he promptly left the room.

* * *

_Two hours later…_

"Are you sure we made enough grown men cry today and wet their pants in fear." Tallie asked Rascal as they walked down one of the many halls of H.Q.

"Squeak squeaky squeak (Trans: Well, if I counted correctly it was exactly seventy-three men. That's not counting the one that was so terrified he volunteered to go to the insane asylum.)." Rascal stated standing on Tallie's shoulder.

"I bet he wouldn't bump into me again. Making him go insane was only equivalent exchange."

"Squeak (We have some many qualities in common!)!"

"It's too bad I couldn't find Fullofshortness. I wanted to set a trap that would send him into the sewers and get chased by hungry crocs."

By now they were in front of the Elrics' room door. She opened the door to the pitch black room and walked in.

_SLAM!!_

Tallie swirled around to see that the door had been slammed shut. In the pitch black darkness she couldn't see the newly damned person that officially enjoyed skipping upon their grave.

"Who ever the hell you are! I'm gonna chop off your arms and stick them up your-" Tallie's threats were cut short by a _thonk _onthebackof her head.

"Go to hell you treefucking bastard." Tallie mumbled as she went unconscious.

* * *

Tallie awoke with a terrible headache. She tried to massage her temples to ease the pain, but realized she was tied up.

"What. The. Fuck." Tallie said slowly as she noted that she was in the interrogation room. She was tied to a chair in front of a wooden table with light hanging over head.

"I told you that you couldn't run forever." Ed said coolly from the nearby corner he was standing in. He strolled to the other side of the table with an evil grin placed across his lips.

"You bastard." Tallie said flatly, "Rascal told me not to show any mercy towards you, but I didn't listen. There's gonna be **hell** to pay when I get outta of this."

"Oooooh reeeeally." Ed said slowly, "I finally found your weakness."

"Ha! I have no weakness." She said trying and failing to hide her nervousness.

"I don't find that statement true. I guess you can say … a little _birdie _told me. All I had to do was give up some sunflower seeds."

"Sunny!" She hissed under her breath then looked back at Ed, "Hmph! I'd like to see you try."

"Oh yeah! Take a look at these!" Ed shouted as he pulled out a bowl of green balls from behind his back.

"AIEEE!" Tallie shrieked in sheer terror, "Keep those green wet balls away from me!"

"Eat it!"

"No fucking way dude!"

"Eat the damn balls!"

"Never, you bastard!"

_Meanwhile…_

Al, Mustang, Hawkeye, and Havoc were walking down the hall. They had stopped short in front of the locked interrogation room door hearing Ed and Tallie yelling.

"Eat the balls!"

"No! You keep those green balls away from me!"

"Ed's… balls…are green?" Hawkeye asked more to herself.

"He must've been playing with them too much growing up." Havoc said with his cigarette hang out of his mouth.

"Eat the damn balls before I stuff them down your throat!"

"You wouldn't dare!"

"You wanna bet!"

"No…No…Noooooo! HEEEELP! I DON'T WANNA EAT THE BALLS! THE TERRIBLE GREEN BALLS! NOOOOOOOOO!"

"This has gone on long enough!" Mustang snapped his fingers. Making the doors explode. Immediately they ran into the smoke filled room.

"Brother! Don't do it! She's just a little kid!"

"Let the girl go you child sex offender." Hawkeye stated as she pulled out her trademark handgun.

"Yeah, I knew you were lonely, but not that lonely." Havoc said still flabbergasted.

"Fullmetal, I would have thought that you could control your hormones better that that. She's only ten-years-old."

As the smoke cleared they saw what was really happening.

Ed was trying to stuff Brussels sprouts into Tallie's mouth. While she tightly held her mouth shut shaking her head vigorously.

Hawkeye shot fire toward the ceiling gaining the teen alchemist and the ten-year-old attention.

"What the hell are you two doing?" Hawkeye asked seriously with her gun pointed toward the two of them.

"I'm torturing an evil little girl to eat her Brussels sprouts, because this morning she stuck shity boxers on me." Ed said like a school child being scorned by the teacher, "What else could we be doing?"

"So you weren't…you know?" Havoc asked gaining his common sense back.

"Huh?"

"Brother…what he means is…"

"We thought you were trying to have _fun _with a ten-year-old girl." Mustang stated bluntly.

"Huh...wait! YOU THOUGHT I … AND HER?!" Ed yelled. He paused as he glanced at Tallie and untied her. "As much as I hate your guts I'm gonna save what little innocence you have left.

Ed shoved Tallie out the room and slammed the door shut in her face.

From outside the room door Tallie could hear the breakage of bones. Gloves being ripped apart and a girlish man scream (coughMustangcough). A gun being broken in two, someone being bitch slapped (coughHavoccough), and a dude crying. Someone was screaming "Brother stop, ow AHHHH!" and metal armor getting the shit beaten out of it.

Completely disturbed Tallie skipped off to cause a little more chaos before dinner.

* * *

End of Chapter 3: R for Revenge

wd13: Well, that's the end of chappie 3.

Tallie: For telling the world about the green balls, you will die a terrible death in the near future.

wd13: So what. I still got this. –gestures to the pixie stick truck-

Tallie: Is it possible to die from sugar shock?

wd13: I dunno, but we can find out now. –takes fifty pixie sticks at a time-

A.L.G.B: -tackles the shit outta wd13 sending the pixie sticks flying- I have just saved all of humanity. –looks down at unconscious wd13- Who's going to finish up the closing?

Tallie: Ed's still in the room with the others. And I just don't want to.

A.L.G.B: Screw you. –takes wallet and script out of wd13's pocket- Hmm… next chapter should go out next week. Chapter 4: I'M RELATED TO WHAT?! I shouldn't even have to tell you what happens in that chapter.

Tallie: What it's about?

A.L.G.B: You haven't read the summary have you?

Tallie: Never will.

A.L.G.B: -sighes- It's no wonder wd13 created you. You're turnig into her locked away dark/crazy side each passing day. Anywho, R and R if you wanna know what goes down next chapter. The reviews remind this numbskull to update. Her memory sucks ass.

wd13: -jumps up- I've been insulted!

A.L.G.B: -knocks wd13 on the head- Shut the fuck up and back to sleep.

Tallie: Let's throw her in river.

A.L.G.B: Sure. I've got nothing better to do at the moment.


	4. Random Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:**

wd13: -coughs up a lot of water and is soaked to the bone- How the hell did I wake up at the bottom of a river?!

Tallie: The fact that you opened your to wake up.

A.L.G.B: How are you still alive?! You can't swim.

wd13: I can hold my breath for a really long time.

A.L.G.B: …you should have told me that.

wd13: Then you would've set me on fire instead.

Tallie: Speaking of fire. You remember that little bet we had? –takes out rocket launcher-

wd13: Thanks for reminding me. –looks toward the audience- You see I had a bet with Tallie that if didn't update on the weekend after I updated chapter 3. That she could blow me up.

Tallie: -aims for wd13-

wd13: HOWEVER! At my school we have five day weekend this exact week. So, technically it is still the weekend for me.

Tallie: Aww. Now what am I going to blow up?

Ed: -randomly walks on the scene-

Tallie: -without hesitation shoots a rocket at him-

Ed: -blows up-

A.L.G.B: … that was sudden…

wd13: With that out of the way. I have some important note to say…Hey! That rhymed!

A.L.G.B: -hits wd13 on the head- Baka! Get back to the subject!

wd13: Fine. –looks seriously at the audience- You see this chapter is not chapter 4. It is what I call a Random Chapter. It has nothing to do with the plot. Its sole purpose is to entertain. There're just like random episodes in anime. I'll be having these types of chapters rather frequently.

A.L.G.B: This Random Chapter is for the upcoming Halloween.

wd13: It won't be scary since the overall story is genre under humor/adventure/action.

Tallie: Unless you're Ed you won't be scared. BWHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Ed: Why me? –points an accusing finger at wd13- This all your doing! She's a creation from your fucked up mind!

wd13: -press button for Ed to fall through trap door-

Al: -looks down the hole for a second then looks at wd13- She does not own us, but we're trapped. Call the police.

wd13: Oh Al –gives him a big hug- you're so funny.

Al: Brother help! She's touching me!

Ed: -from inside the hole- Play along! I think she's one of your fangirls.

A.L.G.B: Enjoy the chapter.

Random Chapter # 1

'_Damn that Bastard!' _Ed thought as he walked back to the Elric's room, _'Sticking that little seed of Chucky with me. She caused so many problems. She hasn't even been here for over three days.'_

Ed opened the room door massaging his temples. The thought of Tallie's doings gave him physical pain.

"Hello, dearest Edward. You've certainly grown more today." A voice said from within the Elric's room

Ed stopped in his tracks as he realized who the person of the voice was. In the middle of the room stood the seed of Chucky with a warm smile on her face.

"Tallie, what did you do?" Ed said suspiciously as he took a step back.

"Nothing, why would you think I did something wrong?" Tallie said taking a step forward, "I just have a favor to ask you."

"No." Ed said flatly.

"I didn't ask you the favor yet."

"I don't care. I'm not gonna to do it."

"But, I'm your roommate asking for a dear friend's help." Tallie said the picture of innocence.

Al miraculously heard this from across Central. He immediately ditched the kittens to come to Tallie's aid.

"Don't worry Tallie! Your big buddy is here!" Al yelled as he ran over Ed bursting into the Elric's room.

"Good. I can use the both of you." Tallie said smiling.

"Al! You should watch where the hell your going" Ed yelled getting up from his stomp-to-near-death- position on the floor.

"Sorry Brother, I didn't see you down th- urk…I didn't mean it." Al said meekly.

Ed growled in his direction. Then he turned his attention to a far more dangerous matter.

"Don't listen to her Al. She's plotting something. I can feel it!" Ed assumed.

"But _do_ need your help!" Tallie exclaimed, "I need you to go trick-or-treating with me tomorrow."

"Why don't you take your wolf?"

"He attacks strangers that give me candy." Tallie stated simply.

"That's … understandable." Al said after he thought about it.

"Go by yourself." Ed said as he lay down on his bed putting a pillow over his head to block out his little sister.

Tallie glared at Ed. A mischievous smile crossed her lips. Tallie pressed the pillow down on Ed's face. Ed muffled obscenities as he tried to grab Tallie's neck. Al grabbed Tallie before she could successfully suffocate the elder Elric.

"You little brat, that's attempted murder!" Ed yelled as he jumped out the bed throwing the pillow to the other side of the room.

"Believe me! If I would've **attempted** to murder you! You would be dead!" Tallie yelled as she tried to struggle out of Al's grip, "You should know better than to piss off someone with a pillow over your face!"

"Well you should…" Ed was ,for once, at lost to what to say. Tallie had proved a very good point, "Why do you need us to go trick-or-treating with you anyway?"

"Simple, going trick-or-treating with a state alchemist and his freakishly tall brother will get me a ton of candy." Tallie said as Al put her down.

"You only want to use us to get more candy?" Al said a bit disappointed with his mini emo lines on his head.

"That's a harsh way to put, but it's all the same."

"No way, you're on your own." Ed said as he transmuted his arm into a blade. He plopped down on his bed giving Tallie an I-dare-you-to-do-something glare.

Tallie gave him one last glare before she stomped out of the room.

'_You __**will **__go trick-or-treating with me Ed. Rather you like it or not.' _Tallie thought as she fumed down the hall.

_That night…_

Ed laid in his trying unsuccessfully to sleep with his eyes open. He dozed off every minute or so. Ed knew Tallie didn't take too well with things not going her way. What Tallie had said earlier, about attempted murder, replayed over and over again in his head. Every so often he would glance over at Tallie's bed making sure that lump under the covers were still there.

'_Why the hell am I so afraid of a little girl' _Ed thought with his arm still a blade just case, _'What's the worst she can do?'_

Ed thought about his question for a moment.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" Ed shot straight up in his bed causing Al to jump up from his sleeping corner, "She can do the scarily impossible things if she wanted to! And I actually provoked to do that!"

Ed sat up in his bed holding his head with his good hand, rocking back and forth.

"Brother, are you okay? I thought we were being ambushed or something." Al said as walked over to his stressed out brother, "It's amazing you didn't wake up Tallie."

With that said the two brother's stopped short of breathe and stared at Tallie's bed. They gave each other a nod before they slowly tipped toed toward Tallie's bed. Ed held his blade up as Al reached toward the lump. He dramatically yanked off the sheet.

They gasped.

Instead of a sleeping Tallie they saw a small pile of pillows.

"Where is she?!" Ed cried frantically as he searched under the bed, "You sleep right beside the door Al. Did you see her leave?"

"No. We wouldn't be having this problem if you would've agreed to go trick-or-tricking." Al said accusingly.

"Do you expect me to trust that…that…that thing?"

"She's just a little girl in need of love and compassion. That's way she's like that." Al said with cute googly eyes and a bright pink flowery background, "She's all alone in the world. All she's got is a hamster, parrot, and a wolf. If you were in her shoes you'd be the same way. Now go out there and find her!"

Ed put on his clothes and coat. He was previously wearing his usual night time clothes. Which were boxers and a T-shirt. He stepped out the room just as realization occurred.

"Hey! Why do I need look for her?! She'll pop up eventually." Ed yelled as Al slammed and locked the door behind him, "Damn."

Ed kicked at the floor as he turned away from the door. He began to walk down the dark hall.

'_How could I possibly fall for such a stupid trick?' _Ed thought, _'That girl could be plotting my murder right now. And I'm out here searching for her.'_

He continued his walk down the dim corridor. The only source of light came from the half moon outside the windows.

_Creak_

"Who's there?!" Ed yelled as he spun around looking for the source of the sound.

No one was there.

Ed grumbled as turned around to continue his walk. He was considering turning his arm back into a blade.

"I've been waiting for you!" a voice yelled jumping from the vent.

Ed dived out of the way. He spun around to slug the person of the in the face. He missed. Ed took a step back to get a good look at his assailant.

The tall figure was wearing a pure white coat. Its hood cast a shadow over figure's face.

"Who the fuck are you?" Ed asked.

"I am MILKMAN!" the figure bellowed loud in a booming deep voice.

"Wha-" Ed was cut short as the figure held out a glass bottle of milk.

"Drink it."

"Fuck no."

The figure moved with astounding agility. Ed quickly dodged the glass of milk.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING?!" Ed screamed as he eyed the glass of milk.

"Helping you grow big and strong."

"Fuck you man!"

The figure came for him again, getting far too close for comfort for little Edward. Ed dashed down the corridor hearing his assailant not too far behind.

"I'm coming for you Edward Elric!"

"How did you know my name?!" Ed yelled over his shoulder as he continued his sprint.

"You've been on my list for a long time. You must drink your milk!"

"It's disgusting!"

"It's good for you."

"Anything you get from molesting a cow can't be good for you!"

"The cow likes it."

"That just sounded wrong."

Ed froze in his tracks. He had been so disturbed by the conversation. That he didn't look where he was going. He prepared to clap his hands to rid himself of the Milkman. Just as his hands was a sixteenth of an inch away from each other. The Milkman grabbed his left hand and twisted behind his back.

Ed yelped in pain. The Milkman swiftly took the now open glass of milk and shoved the milk down Ed's throat.

In an attempt to spit out the milk Ed began to choke. To survive in the world of the living he was forced to drink the putrid milk. When the glass was empty he went into sweet unconsciousness.

_Early that morning…_

"Brother! Brother, wake up!" Al yelled shaking Ed back into consciousness, "Brother, who did this to you?"

Ed woke up dazed. Suddenly everything that happened the night before flashed before his eyes.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Ed screamed as he held his stomach.

"Brother, tell me what happened."

"…Milkman…" Ed whispered, "C'mon Al!"

Ed jumped up and began to run toward the nearest exit.

"Brother, where are we going?"

"To the hospital! I need my stomach pumped!" Ed shouted over his shoulder. Not daring to slow down.

"Brother, why?"

"Stop asking so many questions and run!"

Al followed his brother not noticing the two figures in the shadows.

"Where's the money? Although this was very amusing I don't do things like that for free." The Milkman said pulling off his hood.

Mustang held out his hand expectant of the promised money.

"Here ya go." Tallie said handing over a large sum of cash, "I'm sure Ed will go trick-or-treating with me now. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!"

"Okaaaaay, I'm out of here."

_End of Random Chapter #1_

wd13: -smiles-

Ed: …-glares- …I hope you die a very violent death…

wd13: Of course you do.

Tallie: I like these little random chapters of yours.

wd13: Thank you! If you like these chapters too, then please review. Hey, that rhym-

A.L.G.B: -hits wd13 on the head- Don't say it.

Al: -to the audience- Remember it makes the kittens happy if you send nice reviews. If you send flames the kittens will slowly die.

A.L.G.B: Don't tell'em that. Violent people will send flames to kill the kittens.

Al: No they wouldn't!

Tallie: -evil smirk- The bet is on! Let the reviews help us choose the winner.

Al: What happens to the loser?

wd13: They explode.

Al: The winner?

wd13: They do not explode.


	5. I’M RELATED TO WHAT!

**Disclaimer:**

wd13: I-I-I'm back.

Tallie: You're late.

wd13: Just a little.

A.L.G.B: It's been months!

wd13: It wasn't that many months.

A.L.G.B: You haven't updated since October.

wd13: That's not so bad.

A.L.G.B: **Last **October.

wd13: …apologize?

A.L.G.B: Don't say apologize to me. Say apologizes to your fans.

wd13: -looks to fans- My apologies.

A.L.G.B: SAY IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT!

wd13: STOP PRESSURING ME! It's really hard to concentrate when you know you're about to die.

A.L.G.B: Why do you say that?

Tallie: -loading up omega rocket launcher-

A.L.G.B: Oh. I forgot about your little bet with Tallie. You were supposed to update every weekend.

wd13: Yeah…about that…

Tallie: DESTROY!!! – Sets off ten rockets at once-

wd13: -miraculously dodges it- Wait! If I die now, I'll never be able to finish the chapter.

Tallie: -thinks for a moment- Fine. I'll kill you later. –runs off-

wd13: Was that supposed to be a good thing?

A.L.G.B: You tell me. You're the optimistic one.

wd13: I guess a few more minutes of life would be nice.

Al: -holding a kitten- wd13 does not own fma or the kittens. She owns Tallie, Rascal, Hero, Sunny, a bird, a dog, a rabbit, and a bunch of siblings.

wd13: ONWARD WITH THE NEGLECTED STORY!!!

* * *

Chapter 4: I'M RELATED TO WHAT?!

Tallie had slept easily through the night. Causing so much mass mayhem in less than forty-eight hours had really tired her out. She woke up before dawn.

'_Damn. Who knew a pure breed wolf and a damn bird would turn me into a morning person? I hate morning people.' _Tallie thought grudgingly as she opened the window for Sunny.

The brightly colored parrot flew out the open window. Tallie could hear him trying to sing with his broken notes. Sunny was the only bird on the face of the planet who couldn't sing, even if his life depended on it. Which has happened before. The out of tune thing nearly had them killed by hungry grizzles on steroids.

"Fa la la **SQUAWK**!" Sunny sang in the distance.

As for Hero, he had come back in the middle of the night. Three in the morning to be exact, but he left again before Tallie had woken up. Only Rascal remained with her.

Tallie was used to this sort of thing. Sunny always left a little before dawn to get some breakfast and explosives. Hero would usually disappear every now and then, mostly in the morning. Most of the time he would bring Tallie back a sandwich.

She used to ask where it came from. Where he went off to at different hours of the night? He never answered. He'd just stare at her silently. As if saying, _none of your dog damn business. Now shut up and eat your food. _Since gay babies are born during awkward moments, Tallie decided to stop asking. (A//N: I have nothing against them. I just feel sorry for all of the lonely straight people)

Rascal was still asleep in her pocket. Tallie was as stealth as a cat in a bird filled bird cage. Ed and Al didn't hear her as she put on her shoes. She had slept in her clothes, so there was no need to change. She crept towards the door, only stopping to look at Al asleep in a corner.

Tallie already knew that Al had no physical body the same way she knew Ed was missing some limbs when they first met. It was in her best interest not to let Ed know that she knew this. He'd ask questions, and if she didn't answer he'll be sure to get the cursed green balls again. Tallie shuddered.

Without making a sound she crept out of the room facing the door. Taking special care not to let it creak she successfully closed the door.

Suddenly she got the feeling that she was being watched. She turned around only to see Mustang with his smug smile on his face.

"What the hell do you want?" Tallie whispered harshly still not wanting to wake the sleeping Elrics (1).

"You and Fullmetal must report to my office in an hour and a half." Mustang's smug smile grew which managed to creep out Tallie, "I'm a bit surprised you're up being though you're a little kid and all. Then again you must wake up pretty early to cause chaos to HQ. Where's your pets?"

"Not that it's any of your concern, Rascal's in my pocket. Sunny went out to get worms and explosives. And Hero's probably killing some random person and getting me a sandwich." Tallie said seriously.

Tallie abruptly turned on her heel and began to walk away.

"Be sure to come, you'll find the information …very intriguing." Mustang called.

Tallie could practically _hear_ his smug smile.

* * *

_Later in Mustang's office…_

"It's great to see you all came" Mustang said with an abnormally large smile looking back and forth from Ed, Al, and Tallie standing before him. His smile grew.

The two blondes looked rather ticked off to be there. One was ticked off for being tired. The other was ticked off for being there when she should be pranking the blonde that was tired. Al looked like…well like Al.

Hughes was standing beside Mustang ,who was seated at his desk, holding a thick folder. He was practically smiling from ear to ear, as if the folder was full of pictures of his daughter.

Edward shuddered.

Standing on the other side of Mustang was Hawkeye and her trusty 'Peace enforced with Fear' gun ready in its holster.

"Cut the crap, Colonel Bastard. Why the hell did you decide to _summon_ us here?" Ed said rudely to Mustang.

"Yeah, unlike some people I have lives to scar." Tallie said.

"And I have to make sure nobody dies." Al added in.

"Oh, you won't have worry about that." Mustang said in a too much of a relaxed tone, "You all will have plenty of time too bond later. Hughes has some extremely good news for me- er I mean you."

Hughes cleared his throat and began to shift through the files. "Well, after our little run in at the phone room I began to do some research and I found some very interesting files on you, Tallie."

Tallie began to shift nervously on her feet. "Um… well you see … about those cars. It was all an accident. I didn't know they can all go boom like that. I was just playing an- I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T PLAN TO BLOW UP 18 OF THEM! I WAS ONLY 8 YEARS-OLD!"

Everyone sweatdropped.

"That's … not what I was going to say." Hughes said slowly.

"E-hem, yes back to what I was saying before that truly unsettling outburst." Hughes looked directly at the Elric brothers, staring them intensly in the eyes as he was going to tell them another war was starting. Then, just as abruptly the stare started it shattered into giant super happy smile. He pointed to Tallie. "Say hello to Tallie, YOUR LONG LOST SISTER!"

**"WHAT THE HELL!?"** Ed shouted so loud his echo could be heard from miles away.

* * *

_Resembol…_

Winry looked up from her tools. "Was that … Edward?"

"Probably, you should get wrenches ready in case he visit's soon." Pinako took a whiff from her pipe.

* * *

_Back in Mustang's Office…_

"I am NOT related to that!" Ed and Tallie screamed at the same time pointing dramatically to one another.

"Actually, you are." Hughes said as he began to shift through the files again, "Back when you and Al were four and five you had a little sister. You two don't remember her because she was kidnapped when she was turning four months old."

Hughes handed Ed a yellowed with age newspaper clipping. It had a picture of the Elric's home with a large printed headline.

'_**Four Month Old Kidnapped at Elric Home' **_

"I knew that old wench was lying from the start." Tallie muttered to herself with a darkened face.

"Who was lying from the start?" Al asked gently and concerned.

Everyone turned their gaze at the newest Elric.

"That's on a need to know basis, that you don't need to know… big brother." Tallie forced a smile looking up at Al. Then it dropped as soon as her eyes fell on Edward. "As for you Ed, may there be no salvation for your very soul for I shall show no mercy."

Mustang chuckled. "Now that you're all family, Tallie belongs to you now."

_Snap._

The documents making Mustang him Tallie's official guardian burst into flames.

"She's your headache now, so get the hell out of my office. Now."

Al had to drag his siblings out of Mustang's office after they lodged themselves at the Colonel's throat.

* * *

_In the Elric's Room..._

The Elric's sat in their room still trying to process all that had that morning. Edward was sitting on his bed with Al standing beside him. Tallie sat on her own bed looking out her window lost in her world of thoughts. Rascal lay perched on shoulder gnawing on a pencil.

"Brother does this mean we have to bring Tallie along with our search?" Al whispered to Ed.

"Yeah, no doubt Colonel Bastard will send her with us." Ed sighed.

"Brother?"

"Hmm?"

"If Tallie's our sister, does that make her an alchemist?"

Ed shivered at the thought. "Probably, why don't you ask her? She's right there."

Al turned to Tallie who still had a vacant look in eyes staring out the window.

"Tallie are you an alchemist?"

No response.

"Tallie? Tallie? TALLIE?!"

"Huh?" Tallie snapped out of it taking her gaze away from the window.

"Are you an alchemist?"

Tallie turned back to the window. "Alchemy sucks strawberry butt."

"So you don't know alchemy?"

"I never said I'm not capable of using it. I just find it very suckish and refuse to perform it unless it's absolutely necessary."

Edward raised an eyebrow.

"Why is that?"

"Hmm? I really don't know how to dumb this down for you, but here it goes. Alchemy. Suck. Strawberry butt. Simple enough for you?"

Tallie stood up to leave, but noticed the pile of pencil shaving on shoulder and frowned. Rascal had reduced the pencil to a mere tooth pick. The small hamster felt the angry waves coming off the blonde and held up the tooth pick.

"Squeak squeak. (Trans: I made you a present.)"

Tallie sighed. How could she possibly stay made at that fluffy little ball of fluff?

"Fine, but get rid of the pencil shavings."

In one quick motion Rascal shoved all the shavings into his cheeks, rolled off Tallie's shoulders and scurried over and up to Edward's bed.

"Blah." Rascal spat the shaving onto Ed's chest.

"YOU LITTLE SON OF-"

"SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK SQU! (Trans: I WILL CRAWL INTO YOUR EAR AND DEVOUR YOUR BRAIN!)"

Tallie scoped up Rascal just as he was about implement his plan.

"Now, now I told you before that Edward doesn't have a brain. You'd starve to death if you went in there." Tallie cooed petting the hamster.

"Aww squeak (Trans: Awww, can I at least chew his ear in his sleep.)."

"I thought you already do that."

Ed and Al looked worriedly at each other. Ed mouthed the word _nutcase._

"Squeak (Trans: No, that was Sunny.)"

"OK, you can chew the other ear. It's almost eleven o' clock in the morning. We should go call Billy."

Tallie began to leave the room with Rascal squeaking to his heart's content.

"Who's Billy?" Ed asked suspiciously. Last thing he needed was for Tallie to recruit kids into some demented little prankster cult.

"My BHF. Best Human Friend."

"You actually have human friends?" Al teared up, "I'm so proud of you, Sister."

Tallie frowned. "I'll try to take that as a compliment."

Tallie opened the door and attempted to leave again.

"If you change your mind about alchemy, I'll be happy to teach you." Al said.

Rascal made a weird high pitched choking sound that could easily be confused with laughter.

"I'll think about it." Tallie said smirking holding back a laugh of her own.

She shut the door behind her as she left the room.

Ed jumped off the bed. "C'mon Al, we've got spying to do."

"Who? Where are we going?"

" We're gonna follow Tallie."

"BROTHER! THAT'S SUICIDE!" Al exclaimed panickily, "SHE WON'T KILL US! SHE'LL **DESTROY **US!"

"Don't tell me you're afraid of your own little sister. My Edo-senses are tingling. She's hiding something."

"We are to." Al knocked on his chest plate letting sound echo throughout his metal body.

"That's different. Plus, she didn't ask."

With that said they followed Tallie a few safe yards behind.

* * *

End of 4th Chapter.

(1) Al's not sleeping. He's in deep meditation.

wd13: Well there you have it.

A.L.G.B.: Yeah, about a year too late.

wd13: Which is why I updated now, my new year's resolution is to try-

Tallie: -loads a rocket launcher behind wd13's back-

wd13: _WILL_ be to finish what I started. If demented serial killer unicorns can do it, why can't I?

A.L.G.B: … I don't think that's the best way to phrase that.

wd13: -looks to fans- Don't worry. With my new laptop I'll be able to type at my convenience and I also have this to work on. –holds up a 2 ½ pound box of chocolate topped with pixie stix- THE AWSOME POWER OF SUGAR!!!!! –climbs ceiling and goes out window-

A.L.G.B: Great, now we have to end this again. Right Tal- where the hell did she go!? -looks around the empty room-

A.L.G.B: -all alone- Damn. Review please. She feels guilty easily and would type faster if she thinks of you all. Next 'Chapter 5: S is for Spy'.


End file.
